You work full time. And you’ve got three kids running around. And you’re a single mom. Why add blogging to the mix??? For me, it’s a simple answer. I started blogging several years ago to help people plan their Disney vacation. I’ve always loved to write and helping others so it seemed like a natural fit. As I continued to write, I had more and more “mom” things to share so Always Moving Mommy was born. I still enjoy writing and helping people, but something’s been missing and I’m ready to fix it (gulp!).
Why I’ve Struggled Sharing More
Being vulnerable isn’t easy for me (or anyone I know…). Not having a lot of self confidence makes that even harder. Years of being told I wasn’t smart enough, pretty enough, or good enough has caused what little self confidence I had to plummet. All these insecurities kept me from being in more pictures, videos, or even getting out and putting myself into situations to network with new folks. I’ve struggled with sharing things because of fears about making a mistake or not being good enough because of judgement I’ve gotten from others. For most of my life, I’ve been the over-achiever. Always working for straight A’s, taking on additional responsibilities, going above and beyond to try and prove my worth to the people in my life. Even typing that or saying it out loud is challenging because I realize how crazy it sounds. But when you’re so afraid of ending up alone, you find yourself doing lots of things so you’ll have folks in your life. And when you’re trying to be everything to everyone, you’re bound to slip up and make a mistake, only causing you to believe the lies you’re being told. It also gets very exhausting and lonely. I was convinced that just being me wasn’t a good enough reason for someone to stick around in my life so I always looked for a way to help in my relationships – so they would “need” me around. That’s not a healthy lifestyle so please don’t try and do that (and if you’re in that place, please reach out – to me or someone in your life). Sadly some people prey on folks who are helpers and take advantage of them and I want more for you (and for me) than that. It’s not as simple as flipping a switch to change it, but you can change. And you’ll find those people who truly want to be around you because you’re you-when you’re stumbling over your words, being silly, or in your pjs on the couch watching Netflix for hours. Even when you’re struggling to find out who *you* are, they’re still going to be there.
Why I’ve Decided to Share
I want to be a better example for my kids. That’s the bottom line. I’d do anything for my kids and I don’t want them to see me not being brave enough to try new things or being afraid of being hurt and not making friends or being too worried about what I look like to take a selfie with them. Recently I had a conversation with one of my kids about making themselves happy instead of doing what everyone else was doing and being unhappy. As I heard the words coming out of my mouth, I knew I should be listening to my own advice. (Why is it so much easier to give advice than to take it??) That was a light bulb moment for me – if I’m telling my kids to live this way, I need to show them how to live that way too. In regards to blogging, I want to create a safe, supportive, real community. I want y’all to come here and feel safe, supported, and appreciated for being just who you are. Again, I need to practice what I preach and remind myself that I’m enough too. Over the past several months, as I started to open up about some struggles I’m facing, I’ve been surprised by the number of people who have reached out because they’re in or have gone through similar things and have offered advice and support. Had I not taken a chance to share those things and just kept telling everyone everything was great, I wouldn’t have made connections with people or gotten to hear about their experiences.
How I’m Getting Outside My Box
Well obviously this post! I also want to be more visible for y’all. More Facebook Live videos, more Instagram Stories, more pictures of me in the blog posts. They might seem like little things but with each one I’m taking baby steps outside my comfort zone and showing myself it’s ok to be me – even though I’m not 100% sure exactly what that is just yet. On a smaller scale, I’ve been doing little things like trying different makeup styles I wouldn’t normally in my every day life and I’ve surprised myself because things I thought I’d never like I’ve actually wound up really liking. Of course there have been some bumps along they way (and I’ve got a few things to add to my list that I was right about and just won’t work too) but it’s ok. I’m learning more and more how to navigate the speed bumps and road blocks better.
I’m excited to take this journey with you. Leave a comment if you’re struggling too or if you’ve struggled in the past and are in your new happy place. I’d love to cheer you on along the way or celebrate how far you’ve come.