• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Home
  • About
    • Disclosures
    • Contact Us
  • Recipes
    • Breakfast
    • Dinner
    • Desserts
    • Drinks
    • Slow Cooker
    • Instant Pot
  • DIY
    • Cricut Crafts
    • Printables
  • Mom Life
    • Cleaning and Organization
    • Parenting
    • Family Time
    • Money
    • Self Care
  • Travel
    • Disney
    • Lowcountry Life
  • Entertaining
    • Movie Nights
    • Parties
  • Gift Guides
    • Subscription Boxes
  • Holidays
    • Easter
    • Halloween
    • Christmas
    • Elf on the Shelf
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
Always Moving Mommy

Always Moving Mommy

For moms who are always on the go

Home » Lifestyle » Parenting » My Parents Never Had “The Talk” with Me…Tips for Parenting Teens

My Parents Never Had “The Talk” with Me…Tips for Parenting Teens

Lifestyle, Parenting

My Parents Never Had "The Talk" with Me...Tips for Parenting Teens | AlwaysMovingMommy.com | Parenting teens isn't for the faint of heart. It's a marathon and lots of the work is done years in advance.

I grew up slightly unconventionally. I become a very independent child and young adult. Sadly I didn’t have the closest relationship with either of my parents growing up and had to figure out a lot of things on my own. Now that I’m a mom myself, I find myself Googling and learning from friends as new situations come up as I’m parenting teens. I don’t always have a point of reference from my own childhood and that can make things a little bit tricky. And boy have things changed since I was a teenager! Here are some things I’m doing to keep my tween and teen on the right track:

Talk to Your Kids

You want them to talk to you about the big stuff, so you need to talk about the little stuff too. Some conversations require the structure and seriousness of sitting at the kitchen table. Others are simply chit chat while you’re running errands after school. All those little moments build trust and give you a window to what’s happening with your kiddos.

Learn What They Like

My Parents Never Had "The Talk" with Me...Tips for Parenting Teens | AlwaysMovingMommy.com | Parenting teens isn't for the faint of heart. It's a marathon and lots of the work is done years in advance.

When they were younger, it was almost impossible to not know what your kids were into.  You couldn’t avoid the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on the television and you were throwing princess and pirate birthday parties.  Even though they’re growing up, make the effort to learn about the things they’re obsessed with now.  Maybe they’re really interested in going camping and learning about plants or wildlife.  And no maybe it’s not your favorite things, but making the effort and planning a camping weekend can make a huge impact.  Including their friends can make a difference too and will give you even more insight into your teen and what they’re like when you’re not around.

There’s No Set Timeline

Probably the hardest thing about parenting is that there’s no set timeline. Sure there’s the terrible twos (and threes!) and milestones like starting school. Since that’s the case, I can’t tell you (or know for myself) that at 11 your son’s going to go girl crazy. Or that at 13 they’ll begin to hate school. Or that they’ll start sleeping in (that was the one “teen thing” I was most looking forward to and it hasn’t happened yet…). Because you’re talking with your kids, you’ll have a good idea of what they’re into and what’s happening, but don’t stress if it doesn’t seem like they’re doing what everyone else is.

Find Your Comfort Level

It’s going to be different for every family, and honestly probably every member of your family. I didn’t grow up talking about sex with my parents so it’s super uncomfortable to talk about, especially with my kids. But I don’t want to become a grandma any time soon, so I need to overcome that and make sure they understand they basics.

Tackle Things as They Come Up

As you’re dealing with different issues in life, let your kids know about them. Are you sitting down to pay the bills? Let your teen sit with you. If you’re not comfortable with them seeing your actual pay information, you can always use fictional amounts with them. Having the understanding of how to make a budget, how to pay a bill, how to write a resume, responding to a jury summons, and grocery shopping are all things they need guidance with.

Consistency is Important

It’s funny how quickly kids pick up on when you’re bending (or completely ignoring) the rules. When you tell them coming home late for curfew means they loose the privilege to drive for a week, that doesn’t mean you can ask them to run to the store for you.  As much of a punishment as it is for you, they need to learn their lesson too.  And if you let them off the first time, what you’re teaching them is that you don’t mean what you say so why should they listen next time?

Don’t Forget You’re the Parent

It amazes me as I watch kids in social situations.  Some are beyond spoiled and entitled.  Just because they’re a little older doesn’t mean they don’t need rules and consequences.  I get it…the mom guilt can be a lot.  As you’re looking at your teenager, thinking there’s only three summers left with them, it can be hard to follow through with chores and punishments and curfews and such.  Think about your teen in a work environment.  Are you helping them be successful in their job?  A manager doesn’t have the mom guilt and needs the rules to be followed.

Household Chores

My Parents Never Had "The Talk" with Me...Tips for Parenting Teens | AlwaysMovingMommy.com | Parenting teens isn't for the faint of heart. It's a marathon and lots of the work is done years in advance.

Don’t forget about the basic skills to keep yourself afloat. If you’ve got a teen, that means that soon they’ll be off to college or their own apartment. Start thinking about what they need to know to live on their own. Do they know how to do the laundry? Make a few basic meals? Clean the bathroom? Take care of the yard? Do basic handywork? All good things to know and start practicing now while they’re at home and can ask lots of questions.

Driving

Unless you live in a large city where they’re able to take public transportation, your teens are going to need to learn to drive at some point.  For me, I learned to drive while I was on the lawnmower cutting grass, driving a tractor in a field, or driving a snowmobile.  By the time I was old enough to drive a car, it was no big deal.  Since I’m not raising my kids in the country, I don’t have those opportunities to teach them to drive.  I’m thinking we might start with a golf cart before we move to an actual vehicle.

Dating

This can be a slippery slope for sure.  Before dating happens, I think there needs to be some honest conversation with your child.  Define what dating means for your family.  It could mean spending time with a friend you care about when your child starts dating.  As they grow, you’ll need to talk about love and what kind of relationship will be allowed and supported while your children are living with you.  Set the groundwork from the beginning to help them have successful relationships.

Heartbreak

With dating comes breaking up and broken hearts.  It’s so hard to watch your baby be in pain.  Provide support for your child and show them healthy ways to heal that broken heart.  It could be a good time for them to journal or have some one on one time with you to talk if they want to.  Let them know that it’s certainly normal to take some time to mourn the relationship and be sad, but help them to see all the other positive things happening in their lives as well.

Mental Health

As you grow up, there’s more and more pressure.  Getting good grades to get college scholarships.  Having a job to be able to save for college.  Getting into the “right” college.  Coping with moving away from home from the first time.  Having to make new friends in a new place.  There’s so much that your child is going to need to learn and cope with.  Even if they’re staying home or not going to college, life shifts once you graduate high school.  Share tips with your child about how to cope with these situations.  It could be journaling, talking with you or friends, or even talking to a therapist.  Having a real and honest talk about depression and anxiety might save your child or help them to help someone else they meet.

Underage Drinking

My Parents Never Had "The Talk" with Me...Tips for Parenting Teens | AlwaysMovingMommy.com | Parenting teens isn't for the faint of heart. It's a marathon and lots of the work is done years in advance.

No matter where you live, at some point it’s bound to happen.  Your child will wind up in a situation where there will be drinks or someone will be talking about drinking.  If you haven’t talked to your child about this before, they may not know how to react.  You can talk about hypothetical situations or share your own experiences if you’re comfortable with that.  Knowing the expectations and that your child will have your support if they wind up in a tough situation can make handing it easier for them. Be clear about you being willing to pick them up if their ride drinks and isn’t able to drive home if that’s something you’re willing to do.  Also be clear about consequences if your rules are broken.

Substance Use

You’ve got to know your stance on substance use.  Will you allow your children to drink coffee?  At what age?  Will you allow your children to smoke?  Do drugs?  Of course your opinions may change, but having a plan before the situations present themselves will help you when the situation actually presents itself.  Many of these things are life lessons that you can talk about long before your children are teenagers.  Talking about how to care for your body is an ongoing discussion that starts at a young age.

 

There are so many things to tackle when you’re parenting a teen.  What advice do you have or what tips would you share with other moms of teens?

My Parents Never Had "The Talk" with Me...Tips for Parenting Teens | AlwaysMovingMommy.com | Parenting teens isn't for the faint of heart. It's a marathon and lots of the work is done years in advance.

July 9, 2018 · 2 Comments

Previous Post: « Re-entry is Hard…It Takes Time to Adjust
Next Post: 25 Birthday Party Ideas »

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Comments

  1. scarcity vs. abundance says

    April 14, 2021 at 4:40 am

    A strong relationship will make your child feel more comfortable coming to you with questions as they get older. As they reach middle school and high school, children will have a more-complex social life and will experience different pressures at school.

    Reply
  2. Lynne Huysamen says

    September 20, 2021 at 4:33 am

    Wow this is a fantastic list of things to consider when parenting teens! My girl is turning 10 in October so I have researching what happens during puberty and when, along with what I need to look out for. My teen years were rocky to say the least. My mental health was not good, I was bullied and went through some highly traumatic experiences. My mom did not know what to do with me and I don’t blame her at all, however I want to be very prepared when the time comes with my kids. I landed up in a very bad place with drug addiction and alcoholism, which all started in my teen years. Thankfully I am now 13 years clean, but I would like to be able to help my children navigate their teen years better than I did.

    Reply

Primary Sidebar

Hey! It is nice to meet you!

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Never miss a post

Copyright © 2022 · Always Moving Mommy

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept All”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent.
Cookie SettingsAccept All
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Analytics
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Advertisement
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
Others
Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
SAVE & ACCEPT